1000 Words.

posted by RICK : 10:04 AM

This is what I see every time I leave the apartment. Yes, it's what it looks like: three bras, sitting on the landing. Of course the simple question is "Why?" But perhaps the more interesting question is, "Who?"

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My new favorite rock band.

posted by RICK : 1:04 AM

Tonight the LOVELY Erin took me to see "The Mountain Goats" at the Bowery Ballroom. It was fantastic. I knew of, prior to the show, maybe 3 of their songs. Two on mixes from the aforementioned Erin, and one that I picked out on the soundtrack to the HIT Showtime comedy series, "Weeds."

So what's the moral of the story? The moral is that this is a cool band, and they've been around forever and what the hell was taking me so long to come around to my new friends 'the goats? Lord only knows.

So good times were had by all. Next week: Fiery Furnaces.

"This Year" -- The Mountain Goats

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Program Note

posted by RICK : 12:01 PM

Sorry to screw up everyone's "favorites" menu, but I'm moving this blog again.
Sometime in the next 48 hours the What Is Recoil blog will be moved to the Dot-Com.

HTTP://WWW.WHATISRECOIL.COM

no more "/blog"

Thanks for your cooperation.

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Screen Play.

posted by RICK : 10:00 AM

So now that I have cable television I've found a way to spend my entire life in front of a screen. Here's the breakdown of the past 2 days:

On the tele'
I didn't subscribe to any premium channels with my cable, but I did get a slew of not-quite-HBO movie channels. Like Encore for Women. Or something. Anyway, because of this (and really, it'd be the same if I actually DID get HBO1 or the like) I found myself watching the last 20 minutes of MANY films, instead of watching, say, a movie I had never seen all the way through.

This isn't necessarily a bad thing.

In fact, I kind of like it. My overall goal when it comes to movies and television shows is to see as many different one's as possible. Of course, this doesn't play well if you'd like to actually remember anything from them. That isn't to say that I forget movies, but its parts of movies, or better yet, MOMENTS in movies where the magic lies. If filmmakers didn't have to worry about telling a story to make profits at the box office, movies, generally speaking, would be so much better. This is evident in my new digital cable lifestyle. Watching 20 minutes of a movie I've already scene is a perfect way to take in the spirit of the film without having to get all bogged down in story.

I've seen 20 minutes of the following movies since Thursday at noon:
-Rushmore
-The Secret Lives of Dentists
-The Ladykillers
-Poison Ivy 3: The New Seduction
-Kill Bill Vol. 1
-Gangs of New York

Sidebar: the next time you watch the "House of Blue Leaves" sequence in Kill Bill 1 don't so much watch it, as listen to it-- the sound mix is both amazing and hilarious. There's video game sounders, a bowling alley strike, probably lots of crushed melons. But they're used all over the place, and often times one on top of another.

There was one movie I watched in its entirety. It was on Sundance and I happened to recognize the title from my old Netflix Cue: "Party Girl."

The premise is that Parker Posey is a Party Girl, but then starts working in a library. As a film, its basically exactly what should come to mind when you think "early 90s indie-comedy not directed by Kevin Smith or Richard Linklater." However, all I could think of was that it should have been called Nelly: the movie.

At the Theatre
Yesterday Matt and I took in a Loews 3 for 2 for a good portion of the day. Here was the rundown:

KISS KISS, BANG BANG.
Post-Modern film noir comedy much better when it isn't so post-modern.

The Weather Man.
If you've seen the trailer to this movie, then you get it. You really don't need to see the whole thing because it isn't all that good-- especially when the theatre you go to has some sort of short with the center-channel speaker and so every time someone talks its sounds like they're speaking through a tin-can phone. However, there was a moment toward the end of the movie that was so legitimately funny I laughed arguably harder than I've laughed at anything in the theatres this year.

Elizabethtown
This has to be, without a doubt, the biggest mess to hit theatres since... Vanilla Sky(?!). This movie is all over the map. Though rarely unwatchable, its consistently mystifying and sometimes just plain weird. There's been much press about the 20 minutes or so that were cut out between Toronto and its wide-release, and I wonder if they would have smoothed things over? Perhaps what's most troubling about this movie is how great it should of been. Really, this should have been the "Garden State" for those who aren't ironically detached from life. The script is there, minus a few scenes mostly involving Susan Sarandon acting peculiar, but something was lost. I think I know where it might have gone too. Between the page and the screen there is an intermediary that almost certainly sucked a lot of the life out: Orlando Bloom. Perhaps the worst casting decision since ________________(insert your favorite punch line here). It also doesn't help that Kristen Dunst keeps slipping in and out of her faux-southern-accent.
But there were certainly rays of hope trying to sneak through. Most notably Loudon Wainwright and the rest of the Kentucky contingency, the Chuck and Cindy wedding, and the greatest rendition of "Freebird" EVER.

Odds and Ends
Have you seen the new Lindsay Lohan video? It's subtle.

Interesting factoid: watching cable news doesn't make news actually appear. In fact, you'll probably find out just as fast without watching any TV a'tall.

I've had high speed internet since Christmas of 2002, but I've only been hard-wired once-- this week. Let me tell you, its remarkably faster. Not that I'm going to advocate everyone giving up wi-fi, but damn... the atmosphere really sucks the life out of broadband.

OMG, I'm watching VH1 right now and I think I just saw a video for the WORST* song ever.

*best?

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Proper Etiquette

posted by Anonymous : 2:43 AM

Tell me, would it be inappropriate to wear a tuxedo to a funeral?

Just curious.

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Baseball

posted by DrNewsie : 1:12 AM

The White Sox have won the World Series of Baseball for the first time in 88 years. Paul was only off by 3 games in his revised prediction, whereas Ryan was off by only one team.

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I am an awful voicemailer

posted by RICK : 8:37 PM

I call. I hear the beep. I get nervous. Then I start saying "um" and "uh" a lot. Then I try to get to the point really fast while leaving out important details. Then I ramble for a few minutes before saying goodbye and haning up. Other such VM problems are me starting with "Hey this is Rick, howsit going?" as if the person would then respond... but they don't. They never do.

If I call you, please pick up. Just save me the stress.

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Recoil Classifieds!

posted by RICK : 7:39 PM

Does anyone want to buy a fairly new Panasonic DVD Player? I bought it about 3 months ago after all my stuff got fried by a power surge. It works fine but I think I'm going to upgrade to a recorder. I'm asking $45 and I'll pay shipping.

Is it bad when a DVD player won't get the job done? I mean, remember when we used to rent tapes?

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A/V Club's "Underrated" list...

posted by RICK : 10:10 PM

This week's Onion A/V Club has a feature boasting what they equate to be the most underrated pop-culture players. But there is problem with lists like this, and it is illustrated in the following excerpt:

Underrated sitcom: It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia

Why? This fledgling FX sitcom follows the lives of four self-centered hipsters (Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Rob McElhenney, and Kaitlin Olson) who run a bar on a cool stretch of South Philadelphia. Though the premise sounds like a cross between Cheers and Friends, It's Always Sunny never resorts to Cheers' comedic ba-dum-pum rhythm, or the gooey sentimentality that plagued Friends. The characters on It's Always Sunny don't learn lessons, or grow closer, or worry about their relationships: they're too busy picking up girls at abortion rallies, or being disgusted by old people in nursing homes, or dating black co-eds to prove they're not racist. In fact, It's Always Sunny is the perfect anti-sitcom, from its laugh-track-free dialogue to its sharply twisted plotlines to its ironically cheery theme music.

The evidence: The fourth episode, "Charlie Has Cancer," cements the show's ability to mine serious issues (like, say, cancer) to genuinely funny ends. Upon learning that Charlie may have cancer, everyone, even Charlie, uses the information to suit their own agendas. The best line in the episode is delivered by Day, with a sarcastic eye-roll: "I found out I might have cancer, so, oooooh, scary."

Now while I don't DISAGREE with the above sentiment, who in their right mind found "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" to be UNDERrated in the first place. It was barely rated, and as a show that premeired with only 7 episodes on a Network that had only once prior attempted original comedy, it was barely on. Frankly, if I hadn't kept talking about it, how many of this blog's readers would even know it existed? Not that I'm some sort of television advocate or missionary or something, but still...

Nothing is worse in pop-culture discussions than saying something that no one knows anything about is "Underrated."

That being said, I do agree with them that "Last Call With Carson Daly" is the most underrated late-night show... with Jimmy Kimmel at a close but memorable second.
(Overrated: Conan... BAM!)

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Shopgirl.

posted by RICK : 4:20 PM

Erin and I went and saw the aforementioned film last night. It's a very good movie, but you would never know it because of the absolutely terrible score that is played over a good 2/3rds of the film. Its terrible in the way the score for The Hours was terrible in that it was so overbearing you never watched a scene thinking about the relationships between characters but instead why the director (or whoever) thought it would be a good idea to inundate the viewer with a sound that is suppose to make you think you're watching the single most important scene ever filmed by man or beast. Which is a shame because the film could easily have stood on its own.

Interesting note: its peculiar that Steve Martin doesn't give off the same level of sophisticated-cool that Bill Murray did in Lost in Translation. Physically, Martin is much more of the type, and I would guess, based on what I know of the two actors, that his personal life is such as well. Perhaps this is just a testament to Murray's acting-- and I guess Martin's obvious strength in writing.

Also, Jason Schwartzman carried the film. If he hadn't been in it, it might have been unbearable.

All that being said, its a good movie that just wasn't assembled very well.

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Breaktime

posted by DrNewsie : 8:26 PM

For the former residents of Omaha: If and when are you (plural) coming back for the holidays?

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Recoil's new mascot

posted by chickadee on a dodge dart : 9:50 PM

I'm painfully unable to make a funny post! However I can link you to some awesomeness...A DOG new dog new dog.

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Pulitzer Prize-Winning Photo Essays

posted by JDM : 9:20 PM

The only thing more shocking and hilarious than AK's post about the disgusting Notre Dame bar is his post about New Year's Eve 2K4/2K5.

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Root, root, root for your home team.

posted by RICK : 2:30 PM

As of me typing this, the Nebraska Cornhuskers are tied with the Missouri Tigers at a score of 24-24. About an hour earlier the score was something like 21-3 in favor of Missouri. That's pretty good work for the 'Skers, a team that is neither terrible nor very good, but strangely exciting to watch. Especially after recent-- or hell, even not-so-recent history. My relationship with the team has always been all over the map. Early on I rooted like any proud resident would, but as I got older my enthusiasm waned as I began associating football with all that is wrong with America. However, in recent years I've come back around. Perhaps also because the team has been horrible. They used to be like the Yankees. Ever season they were contenders, and the fans rioted when they'd lose a single game. But there's one thing the Husker's rarely were, and that's exciting. For being so good for so long, they couldn't have been a more painfully boring team to watch. Up-the-middle. The Option. Up-the-middle. The option. That was the game for 20 years. They'd blow out all of their opponents but it never really meant anything. Even the season they were arguably at their strongest, when they played Florida in the bowl game and completely annihilated them, they were so good it wasn't all that much fun.

Flash forward to this season.

No one expected anything from the team and while they certainly aren't remarkable, or perhaps even that good, they have become interesting to watch.

Which brings me to 12:50pm EDT on this football Saturday. On a whim I left work on my epic, mid-shift, break and went up to midtown to see this mythical "Husker Bar" that I've heard so much about. Well, dry land is not a myth... for I have seen it.

A bar, plasma-screens-a-plenty, packed with people in that irritatingly-bright RED cheering like madmen for a team 1500 miles away. It was pretty great, and while I only stayed for about 20 minutes I was reminded of my home state and the simple pleasures of life-- like eating bean dip out of a crock pot while watching college sports.

So BEST.

Thanks to: L-HAM (aka The Potato) for the invite and the heads up.

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Welcome to the future.

posted by RICK : 6:31 PM

This Thursday I'm taking a big step toward enlightenment by spending $80 a month on the following things:
-High Speed Internet.
-Digital Cable Television.

Obviously I'm no stranger to high speed internet, as we had it until last June. But the television, this shall be a strange mistress. 140 channels. Heaven's to betsy.

And get this: it's in COLOR too!

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Have you ever watched C-SPAN when nothing is happening?

posted by RICK : 4:02 PM

I'm doing so right now. It's crazy. Its just a static shot of the House, but nothing is going on. No one is speaking, a few people are moving around some papers on their desks. A guy just took a drink of something from a cup. Another guy looks like he's hitting on this woman in the red jacket.

What I'm getting at is THERE'S AN ENTIRE CABLE CHANNEL DEDICATED TO THIS! And we haven't even begun to get into the discussion about vodcasting and the future of content distribution. Man, the future is going to be both amazing, and incredibly boring. I can't wait!

***

Hey MS. When you win the lotto, maybe you could chip in for me to get a reliable internet connection, as again, I'm not able to connect from my apartment. I'm contemplating calling Cablevision back up and having them turn our juice back on... and maybe while they're at it... actual cable television. I mean, sure, I could download all the shows I like to watch, but sometimes you just don't want to have to stare at a progress bar for the 3 hours. You feel me?

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$340 million Jackpot

posted by Anonymous : 11:15 PM

It should be no surprise that when the jackpot reaches obscene levels, it brings out the gambler within us all. Me buying a lottery ticket? Previously unheard of. Well, except for the last time the pot was high (haha, great play on words, so funny, 4:20, dude). Anyhow, it being 10 p.m. and the numbers having been drawn, the Powerball website has come crashing down. But who really wants to consult the TV news for the numbers?

Oh well, I'm gonna go jack off into the ice cube trays.

In the meantime, you guys need to check out Martin & Orloff, one of the funniest movies I've seen in a long time, compliments of the UCB cast and a few other comedians from within the Hollywood comic "circle of power."

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Lost

posted by DrNewsie : 10:04 PM

What ever happened to the mechanical monster made of smoke? Is it ever going to show up again? And 3 weeks until the next episode?! What am I supposed to look forward to next Wednesday? Freddie?

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The Colbert Report: funny.

posted by RICK : 12:02 PM

So, did you check out the new "Daily Show" spinoff, "The Colbert Report"? No, well then you missed out on some quality funny, as it was: quality, funny. Maybe its because I'm a die-hard "Strangers With Candy" fan (movie out in 2 weeks!), but I almost prefer Steven Colbert to Jon Stewart-- he's better at playing the character of a fake newsman. Better than even Stone Phillips himself. Anyway, the show was terriffic, but did leave me wondering how in the world they'll make a 2nd episode. Or a third. Or really, another. It's kind of a one-joke show, but that one joke is so good you just can't let it sit there unutilized. The 11:30 timeslot is kind of a bitch, as you have to compete against the big-boys, but if anything that the network throws there will stick, my guess is it'll be Colbert.

NYT
Zap2It

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Winners and Losers

posted by RICK : 12:48 PM

Sorry for the delay, I've been busy.

WINNERS!

USC Barely Avoiding Upset. Sure, USC won that game, but you can't really say Notre Dame was the loser in this match-up. The real winner was clearly all fans of College Football.

Iraqi Constitution will likely pass. Is this a win? Not really, if you're one for equal rights, but maybe we should just smile, say its a win, and then run like hell.

And the Drunks rejoice! (right before being beaten by local law enforcement). The recent curfew established by New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin has since been relaxed to 2am in the French Quarter so that the bars can stay open and the tourists can pretend like they decided to plan their trip 3 months earlier.

Michelle Wie reminds us all that we're getting old and haven't really accomplished all that much. She's 16 and shot a personal best on her 2nd pro tournament. When I was 16, my biggest accomplishment was getting a $275 speeding ticket (50 in a 20 + 2 stop signs).
I turned 25 yesterday. "Keats, big-poet Keats was DEAD by 26."*

LOSERS!

Steve Jobs joins the ranks of such high profile figures as Jesus H. Christ in being guaranteed the cover of Time Magazine at least once a year. Look, I LOVE Apple products. That is a surprise to no one. This week was particularly exciting for me as I love a good product launch as much as the next guy, but I'm putting Jobs and Apple in the LOSERS category for the following reasons: 1) The video-iPod isn't revolutionary and it was sold highlighting the wrong features. What excited me more about the video-iPod launch was the sale of television episodes on the iTunes store. To me, this is uber-significant in the grand scheme of technology, as eventually we'll reach a point where MOST content is on-demand accessible, but Apple dropped the ball with their launch-- the content they provided for a cost of $1.99 is sub-par and will only look good on the new iPod (which was their plan), but it severely undermined the revolution, and also undermined another product that they had launched 10 minutes earlier: 2) The new (or revamped) iMac is the more important product. The new iMac is Apple's first step toward the increasingly important Media Center market. While few people are using portable players to watch video, MANY people are using their computers to watch content from DVDs to downloaded torrents of their favorite TV shows. Well the new iMac now has video out so you don't have to sit at your desk to watch last week's LOST, but can sit on the couch and enjoy it on your TV, as well as an integrated remote control. With this new set-up you could easily rip your entire DVD collection onto an external hard-drive, the just sit on your couch and watch whatever your heart desires without having to do anything except pressing a button with your thumb. To me, buying a television episode that plays well on an iPod is utterly undesirable when what I really want is a television episode that plays well full-screen on my computer. And those files are readily available for free online (well, the cost being little bits of your soul... but who cares). 3) The cost of the new iPods wasn't trumpeted enough. Basically, you aren't paying for anything extra-- they're just giving you the features for free. Apple doesn't lower their prices, they just add bells and whistles. Really any new product is simply a canvas for a better product in the future. The first iPod was 5gb and cost $399. That same price will buy you a top-of-the-line model today with 60gb and video playback. In short, not enough attention was drawn to the fact that this new product is actually a good deal for someone in the market for a music player. It was sold as "Upgrade your iPod" instead of "Hey, now it's time to jump onboard." This is a good product for a new user, though a kind of shitty product for someone already in the club.
Slate's Jack Shafer on the iProduct

The Kids aren't alright. Rupert Murdoch is addressing concerns from corporate shareholders in NewsCorp that "the family" has too much power. Ha.

Remember last season when he was tortured by Siad?. Lost's Josh Holloway was robbed! Maybe if his character were a bit more... likeable...

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That Day In History

posted by RICK : 12:23 PM

Y'know that day in history? The one yesterday? Here's some highlights:

1860
Eleven-year-old Grace Bedell of Westfield, N.Y., wrote a letter to presidential candidate Abraham Lincoln, suggesting he could improve his appearance by growing a beard.

1914
With the support of President Wilson, the Clayton Antitrust Act, which made it illegal for companies to buy competitors' stock, was passed.

1917
Mata Hari, World War I spy, was executed by a firing squad in Vincennes, France.

1951
I Love Lucy, starring Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, had its television debut.

1964
It was announced that Nikita Khruschev was removed from his positions as premier and secretary of the Communist Party of the USSR.

1966
The U.S. Department of Transportation was created.

1989
Wayne Gretzky topped Gordie Howe's NHL scoring record.

1991
Clarence Thomas got a narrow (52–48) Senate confirmation of his nomination to the Supreme Court.

1993
Nelson Mandela and F. W. de Klerk were awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for their work to end apartheid in South Africa.

October 15th

And let's not forget birthdays! Let's see, there's Emeril Lagasse, Penny Marshall, Bob Borden, and oh yes, ME!

A Birthday Rundown 2005
So the gameplan was this: Get a bunch of kids together at Prospect Park and play Ultimate Frisbee until we all realize how much we hate participating in all types of physical activity. As I've mentioned before, it had been raining for nonstop for over a week. To my great fortune, it stopped Friday night and the park was almost dry by Saturday morning. I bought some orange cones, a 175 gram Frisbee and BAM we were off. I think we played for maybe 6 minutes before everyone started to feel like they were on the brink of cardiac arrest. But we were persistant. I think we played 4-5 games and had a damn good time. Yes, even when the mysterious Tony(?) asked to join the game and then proceeded to slowly but surely weird us all out. The game started at 2:30 and we played off and on for a couple hours. Then the party moved into the shade where we ate cupcakes and had apple pie and wore party hats featuring Dexter.
Then we all went home and bathed and realized that in a period no less than 12 hours we'd all be in excruciating pain.
At 9:00 we remet up at Barcade and enjoyed spirits and old video games.
Bottom line: great birthday. Thanks to everyone who came and called. Much fun was had.

And yes, my body feels like its been hit by a truck.

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Good Customer Service

posted by RICK : 10:12 PM

I got a cool e-mail today. It was from a member of the rock and roll group The Alternative Champs. He said he Googled his band and came across this very blog because I had posted about buying their record, and then asked what I thought of it. I wrote back saying that I found the record quite enjoyable.

Correction:
Yesterday I posted about how it has been raining for 4 days in New York City. Well that was wrong. It's actually been raining for 8 days. And its still keeping me from using the internet on my computer.

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Overheard at work:

posted by Anonymous : 6:57 PM

"None of the sex offenders will talk to me. Isn't that mean?"

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Who'll stop the rain?

posted by RICK : 4:50 PM

So it has been pouring in NYC for the past 4 days nonstop. This really isn't of any concern to the masses except that I haven't been able to use the internet as the signal keeps getting lost in the downpour. Maybe this means I shouldn't be stealing wi-fi? Maybe not.

Long story short, the 3-4 sizable posts I'd like to put up will have to be put on hold until the sun comes out.

Enough about me, what do you think about me?

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Holy Thunderforce! (your introduction to "epic metal")

posted by Anonymous : 1:30 AM

Face me evil bastard, smell the hate of angels
Glory, pride and bloodshed
Cowards and beholders, rapers of my wisdom
mix of dust and bones
Go back to your abyss, Algalord will not fall
but your heads will soon roll
Test the blade of heroes, fury of the thunder
hit my golden shield

So we'll fight against the wind for the glory of the kings
to defeat the evil enemies
And we'll ride with our lord for the power and the throne
in the name of holy thunderforce

Arwald and Aresius with the nordic warrior
on their way to Hargor
Chaos and oblivion, turmoil and disorder
will have now their name
The last fallen heroes will defeat your forces
Thousand spirits calling
On the furthest mountain I will see your fire
quenched by holy frost!

So we'll fight against the wind for the glory of the kings
to defeat the evil enemies
And we'll ride with our lord for the power and the throne
in the name of holy thunderforce


Wow, I wish my life had as much direction as these guys.

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The Older, funny ones

posted by RICK : 5:02 PM

So I'm reading the wires at work and this past week's Nielsen* ratings come across and something strikes me as peculiar, and perhaps very telling of our times: in the top 20 shows airing over the networks the only comedy's that cracked the list were "Two and a Half Men" and "My Name Is Earl" at 14 and 16 respectively. Five years ago, this would never have been the case. For as long as I can remember, the top ten was always filled with sitcoms. Seinfeld, Friends, Everybody Loves Raymond, Will and Grace. And while it is true that the traditional sitcom has definitely died, it doesn't mean that there are any less comedies on television.
Some would also argue that it wasn't dramas, but reality television that may have killed comedy, but while that may have once been true, it's not true anymore. Survivor is the only reality-hit currently in the lineup (smart marketing on their part-- along with the Idol people-- of not diluting their brand. Why the hell are there 2 apprentices on, on seperate nights).
What this is really showing is either 1) people just aren't in the mood for comedy lately, but instead in the mood for grizly violence (CSIs and Law and Orders among others) and/or complex narratives (Lost, Desperate Housewives, Greys Anatomy). If its the latter, I guess I could support it, but then how does one account for the fact that no one watches Arrested Development? Really, those shows are anomolies of network television. Now, the second possibility (2) is that people aren't getting their comedy from television-- or at least have moved to cable. If you like edge, you're much better off going to comedy central or HBO or FX. Or maybe, MAYBE its the fact that people are getting their comedy online. In a way the comedy trend seems to be getting away from shows and more about things. A funny video someone links to, or forwarded joke emails. That sort of thing.

I'd continue, but my break is over and I have to go back to work. More later, for sure.

*Link actually shows programs ranked by share, not by # of viewers

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Business Opportunity

posted by Colt45 : 4:13 PM

For those lacking direction in his/her life, the answer is North, as in to the polar ice caps! The Times reports that the ice is melting and there's oil or maybe even gold to be had. Thanks to global warming, Capitalism: 1, Polar Bears: 0.

All we'll need is our spirit, a rifle and maybe some Pez. Then finally I'll do something that will make my father proud. Any takers?

Also...

To chime in late, I'd like to be the only person who defends the All-Star game as fair in deciding home-field advantage. Well, maybe not fair, but how is this any less equitable than the previous policy of alternating every year?

It's a gimmick. Selig loves gimmicks, and so do I. You should, too, it gives you something to talk about at bars.

Furthermore, I don't think you can compare records between leagues. Eliminate the Cardinals and every American League Team in the playoffs had a better record than the National League teams. Doesn't this just show more disparity between the top and the bottom in the American League?

Can you really justify giving the Red Sox, a team that did not win its division, home-field advantage instead of the Atlanta Braves, a team that won arguably the best division in baseball?(This hypothetical, of course, is no longer possible.)

The answer, clearly, is no. If the system can't produce a "fair" scenario every time it should be scrapped. Ergo, the All-Star game decides.

In fact, if I were commissioner I'd make it a Tri-fecta: Home-field advantage will be decided by the winning team of the All-Star game and the individual winner of the home run contest (ie. what league he's from). The tie-breaker will go to the winning "International team" of the home run contest. So, if Venezuela, for example, wins the team portion of that whacky home run contst, then the team with the most Venezuelans wins the tie-breaker. Such an act would help increase cultural awareness, or make everyone more xenophobic. Either way, it's a win-win for baseball and America.

I love gimmicks!

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Remember the 'kiln' in art class...

posted by RICK : 2:40 PM

"Walace and Grommit: Cure of the Ware-Rabbit" was number 1 this weekend at the box office. Let's hope they already finished the behind-the-scenes features for the inevitable DVD, as now it might be too late.

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A Non-Holiday

posted by RICK : 12:28 PM

I was awoken today from a great slumber to a ringing telephone. After picking it up I was informed that I was suppose to be at work 45 minutes prior. I threw some clothes on and was relieving coworkers within 40 minutes. But here's the problem: it's Columbus Day. The day every October when the Italians pretend like they had something, anything, to do with the discovery of America. We're a very proud bunch. The problem, as briefly described below, is that Columbus Day is an almost holiday. Some banks aknowledge it and close up shop, and yet our friends on Wall Street halfheartedly show up and worry about pork-futures. As for New York One, it's not a company holiday and yet its scheduled like one... kind of. We still have our normal production schedule, but the schedules are moved around... y'know, just to keep us on our toes.
Here's what I'm getting at: I don't support half-assed holidays. It's either a holiday where all the 'big' work is shelved and then only those who are abosolutely needed report (or closed completely like our friends at the bank and the USPS), or it's not a holiday. Everything in between should be categorized as "Casual Friday."
So now I'm at work for the next 6 hours, but with absolutely nothing to do. Maybe I'll get a bagel or something...

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Carving Ivory Soap

posted by JDM : 10:18 AM

Last fall, my employer chose to sink our floating holiday on Columbus Day 2005.

So I have a day off today and nothing to do except reminisce about my first-grade class' Friday Surprise activity in honor of Columbus Day. Each student had to bring a bar of Ivory soap and a butter knife to class. Even though the kindergarteners routinely strapped nuclear devices to their Velcro sneakers, Einstein Elementary didn't have metal detectors in 1987.

Our teacher told us to make a Nina, Pinta or Santa Maria out of soap. Armed with their butter knives, most kids quickly carved pointy bows, stabbed toothpicks with paper sails attached into the soap and watched their ships float in a bowl filled with water.

I struggled, though. My parents sent a regular table knife with me, and it was too thick to carve the soap. My knife slipped off the soap every time I tried to remove the corners.

I felt like I belonged in a wheelchair like J.J., the special ed. kid who stole my ruler one day. I wished I had an awesome knife and accent like the guy in the Irish Spring commercials.

That Friday Surprise was the worst until the spring when the teacher scrambled eggs, fried some ham, dyed both green and served them after we read Green Eggs and Ham. I was a picky eater and didn't like eggs. I was a picky reader, too. I thought Dr. Seuss wrote facile, druggy nonsense, so I went on a brief hunger strike to protest the monosyllabic rhymes involving foxes in socks, cats in hats and Grinches ruining holidays for Whos.

Have fun at work and school today, kids.

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Sheryl Crow

posted by Anonymous : 9:35 PM

Is the apocalypse coming or are a lot of people just dying? Mother Nature doesn't seem to really like us too much right now. I think we need to hire a rag-tag group of scientists to jumpstart the planet.

This especially bothers me:


But seriously, my heart goes out to all the victims of these worldwide disasters. Tsunamis, floods, and earthquakes are all easy to ignore while typing about light-hearted matters in these blogs. Sorry to be a downer.

Anyhow...

A note to Rick-
Have you seen The Squid and the Whale yet? Not sure when I'll get around to seeing it, but I don't doubt you probably viewed it as soon as humanly possible. Or maybe that's a drastic statement.

Btw, when the fuck is Kicking and Screaming making it to DVD??? And no folks, I'm not referring to the Will Ferrell movie of the same name from earlier this year. If the Beast of Yucca Flats gets a DVD release, then why not the aforementioned Noah Baumbach film? Baffling.

I guess that's it.

Ciao, kids.

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posted by DrNewsie : 6:26 PM

Am I crazy, or have the comments disappeared?

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New Harvey Danger Album (free)

posted by RICK : 4:15 PM

One of the great cast-aside bands of the 90s has just released their third album, and they're just giving it away, which I find both nobel and completely perplexing. Still, you should download it and tell your friends, and then see them if they ever come to your town.

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Hey there good lookin'

posted by RICK : 2:01 PM

Thank god, they finally did it. I didn't think I'd ever live to see the day that an Omaha Alt-Paper would put up a website where one could actually, y'know, use it. The Reader just redesigned their site, and good-gravy if it isn't completely usable and efficient. Hooray!

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I've never been to the Natural History Museum

posted by RICK : 1:27 PM

Yesterday I went to see some movies. They included, "The Squid and the Whale," "Good Night, and Good Luck," and "Waiting." The cream of the crop was Squid. It might actually be the best film of the year. MIGHT. I haven't decided yet. It's main competitor, "Mysterious Skin" blew me away last spring, but suffers from that very fact-- it was released last spring. Spring movies rarely leave a mark, though I might argue that they do stand a better chance of being timeless. Anyway, that's beside the points. What really matters is that there is a pivotal, thesis-like scene at the end of Squid that takes place in the Natural History museum, and I've never been. It looks amazing. And kind of scary. Two things any good museum should be. I should really go as soon as possible. Hell, maybe even today.

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Winners and Losers

posted by RICK : 11:49 AM

Since Friday's are typically oh-so-slow in the Blogosphere, I've decided that we should try to at least post something-- and why not "Winners and Losers" for the week? And as always, add-ons are greatly appreciated.

WINNERS!

The Sun Rises - This week Sun Microsystems and Google teamed up to distribute software. Software that will be targeted directly at unhinging Microsoft's uber-grip on the computer desktop (and Office). Go get'em tiger!

"...and they put soap on it and you're suppose to say Thank You!? - In a win for suspected terrorists, and, I suppose, the general decency of the human race, the US Senate passed a bill this week that would ban "degrading" treatment of prisoners. I hear some get cable-tv too.

Embrionic scientologist formed in lab! - Tomkat is having a baby! Remember in Jurassic Park how the velocirapters started breeding even though they were genetically engineered to be female? I suspect this is very similar.

M-I-L-L-I-O-N - Gwen Stefani will go down in history as the first recording artist to sell one million legal downloads of a song. The song? Well, "Hollaback Girl" of coarse. It's my shit.

LOSERS!

Pay no attention to that man in riot gear with the assault weapon - The public-transit-riding-population of NYC lost out yesterday when we were pleasantly reminded that we could be blown up at any given moment. Well, not any given moment-- more likely during rush hour, and on a crowded train. The collective pants-wetting may now commence.

Hey, they don't give these jobs to chimps! - So much for the mandate. I don't think its anexaggerationn to say that GWB is having a shitty week. I mean whose prostrate does a guy need to massage to get some approval points around here? C'mon!

Jesus Rick, did you even try? - My fantasy baseball team, "Sexplosion!" ended more or less LAST in the John Ritter Memorial Fantasy League this year. Whatever.

Tomkitten? - Wait a damn minute here. How the hell did that make it into the 'winner's category. I mean, it's not like a Britney Spears sex tape for christ's sakes!

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Lost Questions

posted by DrNewsie : 10:39 PM

1. Was the swan logo the same logo on the shark fin?
2. In the previous episode, what was Walt whispering?
3. Is the island still purgatory, or has that idea been scrapped?
4. ???

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"Out of Omaha"

posted by Anonymous : 10:32 PM

A film by the above name was being filmed in downtown... eh, Omaha this afternoon. Anybody know who's involved with this or anything regarding this project? My girlfriend was an extra in the movie as "Passer-by #26". Actually, I don't know if she'll get credited as such, but there were apparently a lot of other people who were "extras" with the sole purpose of walking by in the background. I guess it was a semi-professional looking production with lighting and misc. equipment of that nature. Y'know, just like what was used for Walt's Birthday.

Just curious if anyone knows anything about this.

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The Doors Suck

posted by RICK : 5:17 PM

You know what really chaps my walrus? Doors that don't open up to a full 90-degrees. I encounter this almost daily, as the front doors of the Chelsea Market (the building where New York 1 is located) only open up to about 78-degrees at best. This causes much hassle for one who is trying to be a gent and hold the door open for people coming from the other direction. There simply isn't enough of a gap. What's even worse is that they are double doors. With both opened as far as they can, its still barely enough space for one person to pass through without trouble. The question is, why? Why design a door like this? It's the same effect as when you're trying to get those last 15 Pringles out of the can, but your hand won't fit, so then you decide to shake it but all the crumbs end up all over your shirt.

What nonsense.

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the office tonight

posted by chickadee on a dodge dart : 12:42 AM

I liked...

"if i were buying my coffin, I'd get mine with thicker walls so I couldn't hear the other people in their coffins" or whatever it was he said. best line!!

I also liked the stupid office games because sometimes you have to play stupid games to get through the day.

omg "where are all the hot people" this episode is good!

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whatchamacallit

posted by chickadee on a dodge dart : 12:17 AM

dudes and dudettes...whats the name of that coffee and donuts place in downtown omaha that was only open in the middle of the night and smelled like grease so bad you had to dry clean your winter coat after each trip? I can't remember the name and its making me insane.

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Another sign of the awfulness of network TV

posted by RICK : 9:32 PM

I was just watching "The Office" (a show that has become much funnier since the spring), and the cold-open was playing over the credits from the previous show. C'mon people can't things just EXIST. Why does everything have to be synergized?

Also, best line: "Sometimes the teenagers use it for sex."

HA!

UPDATE 17 minutes later
Okay, while network TVs practices are becoming more and more ridiculous with each passing moment, I have to say that the quality of the content (more or less) is getting better. Well, let me rephrase that. Network TV will ALWAYS show 7% good, entertaining programming, and 93% pure crap. Always. Dating back to its inception. But I think the good content is actually getting better-- or at least more inovative and interesting.

Tonight's episode of The Office might have been the best single comedy episode of the new season-- across the board.

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Rummikub, the new Texas Hold'em

posted by RICK : 6:05 PM

The latest hot trend in obsessive gaming? Clearly it has to be Rummikub, a game of matching tiles that doesn't involve retirees and brunch. We've been playing it compulsively at work during down time. So best.

The brilliance of the game also lies in the fact that my current winning percentage is somewhere in the upper 90-percent range. I hate to wax my own car, but I am a Rummikub ass-kicker! In fact, why are you even reading this, should you be playing the game that is taking America by storm? Shouldn't you then come back and read this site because we love having the traffic, but then promptly going back to Rummikub and splitting up the 4-5-6-7-8 run in red so that you can put down your red 6 and red 9? Man, that'd be so sweet.

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Serenity

posted by RICK : 10:09 PM

Two kids from work and I hit up a midnight screening of Serenity last Thursday night. The screening kicked ass because the theatre was jam packed with fan-boys/girls and everyone, including myself seemed to really enjoy the hell out it. Bottom line: though the summer is over, its the best "summer movie" of the year. Yes, better than Batman. Here's the catch-- does it translate to viewers who haven't seen Firefly? I believe the answer is both yes and no. They do a terriffic job of catching everyone up to the plotline, but the films best moments are pay-off for those who are fans of the show. In fact, I think I can safely say that there was a moment in "Serenity" that caused the loudest collective gasp I've ever heard in a theatre, but I know for certain that the same response wouldn't be at a screening with the average public.

So did you see it, and have you seen the show? What's the verdict?

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The After Season

posted by RICK : 11:58 AM

It's fall (thank god). This means the weather will be momentarily pleasant before turning bitter and soul-crushing. Also this means I'm nearing yet another birthday, a fact that is starting to become tedious as I can't keep from aging despite all of my mad-scientist-like schemes on curbing it. Note: if you'd like to get me a gift, I'd be happy to acquire a brand new computer.

But what makes the fall most memorable has to be playoff baseball. This year looks a lot like last year in many respects, except now Boston has a ring and that kind of takes everything down a notch. I mean, is there really a team that a baseball fan can get behind? The Padres? Hardly. Come see me next year when you're a few more games over .500. I obviously can't root for Atlanta, what with their trouncing of the Mets, and yet the more I think about it, I'd have been pretty happy to see Philly playing October ball. They're our rivals, but we can beat them on the road... unlike Atlanta. Plus, Philadelphia is a good sports town. Then there's the Angels, who I have nothing against, except their night games won't start until 10pm over here and who the hell needs that. Sometimes I feel like the west coasts teams might as well be playing in the Japanese leagues. Of course, there's the Empires, the Yanks and Sawks. I know I'll be rooting against the Yankees, because as a die-hard Met fan, that's what I do after July (interestingly enough, this year I actually had to postpone my vigilant anti-Yank hating for much later in the season as the Mets continually toyed with the notion of playing quality ball late in the season. But as for the Sox, it isn't the same as last year. If they do win the World Series (or at least the ALCS) then does that make them the new Yanks? And what does that mean for me? There's the other Sox too... the cleaner ones. My roommate loathes them. I could think of worse teams to have win. San Diego anyone?

Here's another question. If you're favorite team is in the NL, does that mean you should be rooting for the NL in the World Series? OR, should you be rooting for AL because you don't want anyone who may have beaten you to succeed?

In any case it's still the best sport you can find in the month of October (sorry football fans).

And speaking of, how about that Husker win this past weekend?!

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Insensitive Blogging

posted by Anonymous : 12:30 AM

I don't think this blog attracts enough attention so much as it would if I typed "fertilizer bomb" or "Bush eats his own shit" or "bin Laden 4 prez" or "Cleveland rocks" or some other keywords that will undoubtedly bring the vigilant eye of Big Brother upon us and this operation we run. Then they'll find the communist codes embedded in our Recoil pieces and then men in black suits will suddenly swarm my apartment and be on me like white man on rice. They'd take me into a dirty interrogation room in a bunker about a half mile beneath the earth's surface to beat the answers out of me regarding my plot to continually create hurricanes with my evil storm machine to pummel the coastline until we have to pay $10/gallon for gas and the government has to instate martial law as people begin killing each other just for fuel to get to work and avoid public transit at all costs.

Of course, even though none of the above is true, it would be cool to be thrown in an interrogation room for a day so I'd get the day off from work.

Now that I've offended most of you and undoubtedly brought this blog under the watchful eye of government-types, I've killed enough time while waiting until my Stouffer's Lean Cuisine spaghetti was finished cooking in the oven. It's not as good if you microwave it, y'know.

Peace.

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Off the grid

posted by RICK : 9:34 PM

The irony of just finishing an interactive blog for you and your friends, is when three days pass and then your computer decides to eat itself. This is what has happened to me. I've been experiencing freezes on my "freeze-proof" mac, and decided to run the disk utility. It deduced that the hard drive had an unfixable error on it. No worries I thought-- that is until the drive unmounted itself and refused to jump back on. Now my computer won't load ANYTHING. It just has that grey screen with the apple on it and the spinning wheel and taunts me for 5 minutes before shutting off again. Also, since my iPod is dead (hard drive too!) this means that my entire music collection is MIA-- or rather, in Omaha, in my parents room, far away from where I can listen to it.

(There's also all those prereleased records I ripped from my roommate, but I guess I can't feel too bad about not being able to listen to them either...)

So what this means is I'm officially off the grid until I can figure out how to replace the drive in my computer... or something. Anyone know of a good external that one can boot from? Right now my external drive refuses to step up.

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Nothing of Importance

posted by Stein : 5:11 PM

I used to think that there was a lot of pressure being part of a "Blog Mafia," if you will (and you will...)...you know, something bigger than yourself where you could die if you don't perform...like a oriental call girl. But then I started reading the posts on this here blog and realized that you guys don't talk about anything, so why should I feel all this pressure to talk about something. I mean movies, dead babies, movies with dead babies, who says that yo...seriously?

I did see this great movie over the weekend though. It was called The Net, with that girl from The Bus.

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