Saturday, August 19, 2006
I handled Colin Hanks' cable bill
posted by Anonymous : 2:27 AM
Okay, I know that somehow sounds dirty, but I REALLY did! Fucked me up! So the story goes that I was working tonight at my new job at CSG Systems where I do overly physical and mundane work sorting all the statements we print out at our production facility before mailing them across the country (oh yeah, to anyone who cares, I quit the World-Herald because, quite frankly, bitches ain't shit). Although only on my second week, they already had me training someone else because, let's face it, I'm good with mail. So I was explaining some technical garble to him about separating statements by barcodes and I grabbed a random one nearby as an example. While explaining, the name happened to catch my eye and I stopped talking altogether to process what I was seeing. Yes, Colin Hanks. I thought it to be coincidence that perhaps some Joe Shmoe from Anytown, USA might have had the same name. Plus, I rarely even look at the names on the statements, so what were the chances? But, sure enough, it was a Beverly Hills address. I was thinking about writing it down just so I could say I have Colin Hanks' address, but the guy I was working with probably would've thought me to be creepy strange, especially since he didn't even know who he was. I won't even get into how I went so far as to consider opening it to see what cable package he prefers and whether or not he is a porno freak and whatever else a cable statement even tells about a person. But then I thought about federal law, my job, and other moral stuff and decided not to.
Although just a still shot from Orange County, I envision the above image to be an accurate representation of how he'll receive it. Maybe not as intense.
Okay, I know that somehow sounds dirty, but I REALLY did! Fucked me up! So the story goes that I was working tonight at my new job at CSG Systems where I do overly physical and mundane work sorting all the statements we print out at our production facility before mailing them across the country (oh yeah, to anyone who cares, I quit the World-Herald because, quite frankly, bitches ain't shit). Although only on my second week, they already had me training someone else because, let's face it, I'm good with mail. So I was explaining some technical garble to him about separating statements by barcodes and I grabbed a random one nearby as an example. While explaining, the name happened to catch my eye and I stopped talking altogether to process what I was seeing. Yes, Colin Hanks. I thought it to be coincidence that perhaps some Joe Shmoe from Anytown, USA might have had the same name. Plus, I rarely even look at the names on the statements, so what were the chances? But, sure enough, it was a Beverly Hills address. I was thinking about writing it down just so I could say I have Colin Hanks' address, but the guy I was working with probably would've thought me to be creepy strange, especially since he didn't even know who he was. I won't even get into how I went so far as to consider opening it to see what cable package he prefers and whether or not he is a porno freak and whatever else a cable statement even tells about a person. But then I thought about federal law, my job, and other moral stuff and decided not to.Although just a still shot from Orange County, I envision the above image to be an accurate representation of how he'll receive it. Maybe not as intense.
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