Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Just Bounce With Me
posted by RICK : 1:14 AM
On Sunday I was walking home from work pondering if I should finish watching season 1 of "Rescue Me" before or after I did laundry. I'm not entirely sure what my decision was, but I did decide to mix in a new element to my laundering process: dryer sheets. The way I used to look at it, dryer sheets were completely unnecessary. Static cling is no more real than the boogey-man or actual blond hair, I used to think. That is until two weeks ago when I tried to dry that piece of bedding that does between the mattress and the sheets (the pad?) with some of my shirts. Low and behold, things were sticking together like two glue monsters in a 69 position (too much?). So I bought some dryer sheets at Rite Aid.
Here's the catch: I'm not into perfumes. Dryer sheets, however, seem to be almost entirely perfume. I looked at the myriad brands for sale and smelled each of them. Old-school Bounce seemed to be the best bet, and least obnoxiously pungent.
It did the trick. My laundry was oh-so soft and stick-free. I go home, put everything away and put on a movie (Whit Stillman's "Barcelona"). Halfway through the first act I realize that I'm having trouble breathing. The open box of dryer sheets (now sitting on my floor) had created a near-unbreathable-scented-fog. And I couldn't stomp it out. The box and its contents were poluting everything. My room smelled like a $40 hooker*.
The solution consisted of me wrapping the box in about 4 layers of plastic wrap and then stuffing it in a Rubbermaid tub. This seems excessive. Has anyone else had such aromatic troubles with dryer sheets? Am I using them wrong? WTF?
*The $40 hooker is not to be confused with the $2 hooker, who refuses to bath and has a particularly fierce disposition. The $40 hooker, on the other hand simply wears too much perfume. The $40 hooker is really your best deal.
On Sunday I was walking home from work pondering if I should finish watching season 1 of "Rescue Me" before or after I did laundry. I'm not entirely sure what my decision was, but I did decide to mix in a new element to my laundering process: dryer sheets. The way I used to look at it, dryer sheets were completely unnecessary. Static cling is no more real than the boogey-man or actual blond hair, I used to think. That is until two weeks ago when I tried to dry that piece of bedding that does between the mattress and the sheets (the pad?) with some of my shirts. Low and behold, things were sticking together like two glue monsters in a 69 position (too much?). So I bought some dryer sheets at Rite Aid.Here's the catch: I'm not into perfumes. Dryer sheets, however, seem to be almost entirely perfume. I looked at the myriad brands for sale and smelled each of them. Old-school Bounce seemed to be the best bet, and least obnoxiously pungent.
It did the trick. My laundry was oh-so soft and stick-free. I go home, put everything away and put on a movie (Whit Stillman's "Barcelona"). Halfway through the first act I realize that I'm having trouble breathing. The open box of dryer sheets (now sitting on my floor) had created a near-unbreathable-scented-fog. And I couldn't stomp it out. The box and its contents were poluting everything. My room smelled like a $40 hooker*.
The solution consisted of me wrapping the box in about 4 layers of plastic wrap and then stuffing it in a Rubbermaid tub. This seems excessive. Has anyone else had such aromatic troubles with dryer sheets? Am I using them wrong? WTF?
*The $40 hooker is not to be confused with the $2 hooker, who refuses to bath and has a particularly fierce disposition. The $40 hooker, on the other hand simply wears too much perfume. The $40 hooker is really your best deal.
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-Rick
(co-creator)
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