2005: Thanks for all the water.

posted by RICK : 11:50 PM

This is it. This is the big year-end-wrapup. This is where I remind everyone of the year that wasn't and then present a few great look-aheads for the coming months that could be.

Of course, I really don't have anything to say.

So let's stretch that nothingness into some hearty paragraphs of reflection and see what sticks.

2005 has been a year of epic disasters: Katrina, the tsunami (technically a 2004 event, but let's not split hairs), the Pakistan Earthquake, Elizabethtown. Yeah, globally speaking this has been a pretty rotten year, which makes it difficult for me to come to terms with the fact that 2005 was, if not a great year, then a solidly good year-- for me. I guess its the ying and yang thing working its magic-- balancing out the forces of the universe. But let's not dwell on the tragedy of past months. This is a blog. Let's remember some good things. Some BEST things. Some LISTED things. Afterall, without popular culture, isn't life is just a series tasks one does to stay alive? Let us bask, for a moment, in the unimportant, the fleeting, the temporary. (Humor me...)

Best New Television of 2005:
-It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia
Hands down, the best new show of the year. So funny, and yet so unwatched. It's coming back with 13 more eps this year, so don't dilly-dally. Set those DVRs, and enjoy it while it lasts. Afterall, FX is owned by FOX, and we all know what that means.
-The Office [American]
The difference between season 1 and season 2 is night and day, making all new episodes of The Office the best thing on NBC that night. It hasn't reached the genius levels of the British series, and it hasn't reached the comedy levels of Arrested Development, but its climbing-- slowly and steadily. Also, "My Name is Earl" is boring.
-Mad Money
Educational madness! What more could you ask for from CNBC?

Worst: Prison Break.
I'm sorry, but this show sucks. They can stay locked up for all I care.

*****

Best New DVDs of 2005:
-Lost (Complete 1st Season)
-Home Movies (Complete 3rd Season)
In addition to being the season where the show really came into its own, it also happens to have my favorite episodes (which doesn't hurt). The DVDs boast the obligatory "special features" but 2 of them come close to comedy brilliance: Jon Benjamin's "A Featurette for People who Don't Necessarily Like Home Movies" (complete with making-of), and one of the most sureal radio interviews you'll ever hear.
-Star Wars: Clone Wars (Volumes 1 and 2)
I'm tired of talking Star Wars. Let's just say that these 25 short cartoons put the "new trillogy" to shame. Go figure.

Worst: Tie between any "UNRATED" movie that promises more OUTRAGOUS antics that COULDN'T be shown in theaters AND, any movie that was released in 2005 on DVD, which was greeted by a SUPER-SPECIAL-EDITION-DIRECTORS-CUT two months later (I'm looking in your general direction "Sin City!")

*****

Best technologies of 2005:
(denotes technologies that came into their own this year-- not created this year)
-BitTorrent
People want what people want, and if you can't package it in an efficient mannor we'll find it somewhere else. Television + BitTorrent = The key to media bliss.
-OS X.4 (Tiger)
Is this the OS we've been waiting for? Perhaps. When you combine the built-in search with the rapidly expanding media-center features, you can almost see you future-- beats listening to Tommy and lighting a candle.
-The DVR
Look, I don't have one. I want one. Most people, however, do have one. Those people are happier than me. That's right, I said it. DVRs=Happiness. Now go forth and time-shift.
-Tie: Sony PSP and The Blackberry
Sony's done a lot of ridiculous things (see: "worst"), which is probably why they are no longer high atop their electrical perch, but the PSP is slick. Sure, I'm not gonna spend $50 for a ported game from PS2 or $30 for a movie that can only be watched on the unit, but if you add a decent sized memory stick, you have yourself one bad-ass portable media unit. The screen alone is enough to write home about. Yes, write home. Home to mother...
As for the Blackberry, it has become the new "neck-tie" for professionals. Businesswear now consists of the power-suit, the briefcase, and this ultra-popular personal communication device. Of course, the real irony is that the company is in dire straights, and may not be around much longer.

Worst: Sony's ROOTKIT and all other attempts by giant record companies to copy-protect CDs.

*****

Best Movies of 2005
(was going to go with the TOP 10, but am missing about 6 MUST-SEE titles... so here is a list of this years great movies that I've seen so far (numbered for your convenience)
1) The Three Burials of Melquades Estrata
Tommy Lee Jones was in some movie about cheerleaders last winter. This film would be classified as a "Departure." It's also the best movie of the year.
2) Best of Youth
It's six hours long, and worth every damn minute. Compelling. Italian. Historical. What more could you want?
3) Mysterious Skin
Greg Araki has made some shitty movies. This is not one of them.
4) Brokeback Mountain
5) Batman Begins
Best. Batman. Ever.
6) Broken Flowers
I feel that this is going to be the forgotten gem of 2005. Broken Flowers isn't flashy. Hardly anything happens, really, but the magic is in the silences. And it is these silences that show why the director is such a master of the medium.
7) Grizzly Man
This summer I saw 3 Herzog movies. This one was the best of the three, and one of the best of the year. It has all you could ever want out of a non-fiction film: a crazy character, an equaly crazy director, and bears. BEARS.
8) The Squid and the Whale
Not a flawless picture, but its flaws were admirable. The performances, however, were pitch-perfect. Jeff Daniels is amazing in the role of the asshole father, and the anecdotal approach to storytelling is a personal favorite. It's not Kicking and Screaming, but its close
9) A History of Violence
The last third was so crazy, I'm of the opinion that it actually made the film better. Sure, acts 1 and 2 couldn't have been more different in tone (and action) as the third, but the journey between the two made for great storytelling. Also, best sex scenes of the year.
10) Walace and Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit
It's a WERE-RABBIT! Clay is the new 2-D.
12) Serenity
13) Me and You and Everyone We Know
Boasts the single greatest scene of the year involving two people walking and discussing how the walk could represent their future relationship. So great.

Worst: Fantastic Four.

*****

Best Records of 2005:
1) "Kicking Television" -- Wilco
2) "EP" -- Fiery Furnaces
3) "Twin Cinema" -- The New Pornographers
4) "Late Registration" -- Kanye West
5) "I'm Wide Awake It's Morning" -- Bright Eyes
6) "Extraordinary Machine" (Jon Brion Version)-- Fiona Apple
7) "You Could Have It So Much Better" -- Franz Ferdinand
8) "Gimme Fiction" -- Spoon
9) "Thunder, Lightening, Strike" -- The Go! Team
10) "Little By Little" -- Harvey Danger
11) "Separation Sunday" -- The Hold Steady

Worst: (Unlike movies, this one is kind of impossible.)

*****

Top Singles of 2005:
-"Feel Good Inc." -- The Gorillaz
-"Hollaback Girl" -- Gwen Stefani
-"Your Little Hoodrat Friend" -- The Hold Steady
-"All These Things That I've Done" -- The Killers
-"Golddigger" -- Kanye West

Worst: "My Humps" -- Black Eyed Peas

*****

And there we have it. Some bests of '05. Tah-Dah! Aren't we all better people now from having read it? (Yes.) Apologies for the delay in posting. I swear next year I'll be more punctual. Also, much of the content for these 'lists' was thought of while sitting at work with nothing to do and so I can only guarentee their accuracy in measuring my taste for a period of no less than 126 hours. So enjoy it while its still fresh.

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